she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
