God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
