so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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