I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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