Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
And then he peed in my hair
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