Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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