I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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