I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
