Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
