Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
