Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
