pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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