Will you blow on my dice?
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
