You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
My bed smells like the plague
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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