If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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