Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
