we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
