I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
so much tequila, so little girl.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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