Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
