you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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