I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Randomize
