Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
