u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
