He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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