The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
