dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
