My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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