Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
