so that wasnt chicken after all
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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