Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
