Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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