I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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