1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
This is the high leading the old right now
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
