ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize
