Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
