no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
