We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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