why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
