i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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