Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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