Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
