His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
