Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
