I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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