I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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