How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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