if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
