remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
