if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
it's great music for shaving your balls
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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