You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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